Hannah Montana UNCENSORED

A hilarious video parody by YouTube user streetratpoon

They added their own voice-over to a Hannah Montana clip, it's hysterical!

Miley Has A Lot Of Pets

Disney Channel aired a behind-the-scenes segment of Hannah Montana where the cast sat down and shared a few revelations... like the fact that Miley has a lot of pets! I guess getting a little pooch for her birthday didn't help the overpopulation of animals in the house!

Selena Gomez Is Everywhere

Remember when Miley Cyrus started out in Hannah Montana and then suddenly, it turned out millions of kids were watching the show (I admit it, I'm an addict) and then the demons at Disney suddenly got green dollar signs flashing in their eyes? Miley was everywhere! A world tour, a book, a 3D movie, best selling albums... she was everywhere, everywhere, everywhere.

These days Miley prefers to experiment in dating, take typical MySpace pictures and raunch up her photoshoots and neither Disney nor the world can seem to accept the fact that Miley is a hormonal 16 year old whose gonna grow boobs and hump around. So in comes the replacement, she's innocent, sweet and wispy. She's Selena Gomez.


The difference between her and Miley? Well, for one thing, people actually liked Hannah Montana before Disney started pimping that bitch out. Wizards of Waverly Place has kind of been forced on us, we've been watching it only to see the girl Disney have openly dubbed 'The New Miley - and this time, we removed her genitals to ensure she'll stay our property!' The show is still lame.

Now, Selena is everywhere. The girl has a Wizards of Waverly Place movie coming out (yippeee... not!), an album and today it's been announced that she's opening her own production company - called July Moon Productions. Selena will be given the power to option articles, hire screenwriters and tie additional talent to packages that can then be shopped to studios. First of all, she's a 16 year old girl from Texas who has only been in the spotlight for a few months - and only because of Miley Cyrus, let's face it.

She's pretty and talented but she is no way qualified to run a production company and make those decisions. I bet Disney are just using her name and face for the company but really some boring old 40 something year old grey haired dude will be doing all the real work.

Sorry Selena but my love affair with you is over. Miley broke my heart by growing up and you're just getting annoying - you keep popping up everywhere! DAYUM.

Hannah Montana Season 3 Promos

The eagerly anticipated third season of Hannah Montana is about to hit the Disney Channel very soon and in true Disney style, the evil corporation is sending us little teasers of what we can expect - yes, PROMO PICTURES!

It looks like Hannah and her sidekick Lola get a whole new makeover; I am loving the whole preppy, vintage look! Emily Osment and Miley Cyrus are both beautiful with wonderful figures so they totally rock their wardrobes!

Hannah Montana Season 3 Promos

Disney's record-breaking success Hannah Montana is back for a third season. Below are two promotional pictures of Hannah's 'look' in the third season.




All I can say is I hate Miley for looking so good. Damn.

Niley was REAL?

Although everyone's always speculated that Nick Jonas, 15, and Miley Cyrus, also 15, were more than just friends on the Hannah Montana concert tour; it is something neither have them have seriously talked about and have mainly denied it.

Fans have kept speculating and the media has kept pestering them all to no avail. Yet, sometimes, if you look hard enough, you can find the truth.

Pictures that were taken on June 21st 2007, outside Regis & Kelly might reveal the truth. Look at the background on Miley's blackberry. Is that Niley proof or not?



Take a closer look...


Whose that brunette and who is that curly headed cutie with her?


Personally, I think 'GOTCHA NOW, YA LOUSY BEATNIKS!' Muahahahaha.

This is just proof that everything always eventually comes out. I really want Ryan Seacreast to grill them about these pictures!


PS. These pictures aren't photoshopped. They're fresh from a Miley fansite.

Miley's Breakout Break Out

Miley Cyrus's new album 'Breakout' isn't due for release for a while yet and already, it has started to leak on the Internet.

A few of the songs that had made it onto the likes of YouTube and AOL video include 'Four Walls' and 'Don't Walk Away'. Miley's voice sounds a lot more powerful and definately a lot more grown up. Check them out here:


Don't Walk Away:


Full Circle:

[Full Circle is my favourite!]

Watch out for the album, it releases June 22nd! Let's hope Hollywood Records doesn't like Miles down with the promotion for the album.

Another Reason To Be Jealous Of Miley

Let's face it. We all know Miley Cyrus haters are subconsciously jealous of everything she has. Everyone is talented in their own way but Miley's talent was recognised whereas many other people's talents weren't and therefore, they like to go around spewing hateful remarks about her. Well, here's another reason for them to hate on the 15 year old millionaire - oh, wait, let me just check that: BILLIONAIRE.

Yeah, that's right. According to E!Online, by the end of this year the Hannah Montana star we all know and many of us love will be a billionaire! Of course, I'm no mathematical genius and I don't really know much about her income other than that she's topped a few 'rich people' lists. If this is true then man, she never has to work another day in her life. If her career goes down the pan; she'll still be rolling in the money thanks to royalties. Lucky ducky.

Unfortunately for Miley, she can't touch it until she's 18. Think of how much more she could make in those three years though!

Here's Parade Magazine's full list of their highest earners of 2008:
• Miley Cyrus: $18.2 million
• Katherine Heigl: $11 million
• Jessica Alba: $9 million
• Dr. Phil McGraw: $90 million
• Steven Spielberg: $110 million
• Ryan Seacrest: $12 million
• Mariska Hargitay: $7 million
• Trouble (Leona Helmsley’s dog): $12 million
• Tiger Woods: $115 million
• Jeff Foxworthy: $10 million
• Oprah Winfrey: $260 million
• Mary-Kate Olsen: $17 million
• Gisele Bundchen: $33 million
• Scarlett Johansson: $5 million
• Eli Manning: $11.5 million
• 50 Cent: $33 million
• Carrie Underwood: $7 million

The Media, Private Pix & Miley

I have a simple question for everyone judging 15 year old Miley Cyrus right now:
"What is a slut?"

You might laugh and think 'Woaaah, this person is really losing it. Duh. Miley is the slut.'

Wrong answer.

Look at Miley Cyrus's 'scandalous' images that you've seen, like me, probably on The Gossip Girls and tell me that you don't have pictures like that in your photobucket or file of images on your laptop, sidekick or whatever. Images either of you, or a friend or friends or maybe even friend's of friends. Basically, if you're under the age of 25 and you have peers, you'll see some girl or other with pictures like that. It's guaranteed! It's a fact!

Heck, you can be the most religious person and completely against excessive flesh exposure but you know what, it still happens despite the fact that we can argue over the morality of it.

Now would you call these people that you know sluts? I sure as hell wouldn't because guess what? I know these girls, I see them every day at school and I talk to them and I see how they function as perfectly normal members of society and it kills me to admit this but some of them are smarter then me... Boo! The difference between me and them is that they have the body to flaunt, me? Not so much!

The fact is: Miley Cyrus isn't a slut. The media is a whore and a pimp generating sluts and Miley's just another poor passerby that's been dragged into it.


The websites who are reporting these images and are posting on them and then adding distasteful and really dim-witted remarks like 'Oh, isn't Billy Ray proud?' are fucking hypocrites. I'm sorry but where I come from: if you think something is wrong (for example: behaving inappropriately in pictures) then you don't normally spread the immorality of that around for other people to see. If someone was murdered by some crazy axe-wielding person - do we really need to see the pictures of the mutilated victim? No thank you! This is just a classic example of the media getting its sick kicks from exploiting icons in the spotlight.


Do me a favour, people. Stop talking about it. If you hate Miley Cyrus, good for you, here's a round of applause and a pineapple. The more shit you talk about her, the more famous you make her.


When I first read about Vanessa Hudgen's nude pictures ordeal, I didn't even batter a single eyelid because my first thought was "Well, she's hot as hell, she's in a business where she'll be exploited and have no privacy anyway... if she didn't take nude pictures of herself, it wouldn't be long before some disgusting TMZ pap took pictures of her topless on a beach or something."

Miley took pictures considered raunchy even though she has a 'perfect tween-idol' image to keep up. Well guess what? She's a human being just like me and you with red blood just like me and you. She's a young girl just like I was when I was 15 years old and she's finding her way. Let's face it, ladies, our world is full of pressures to look a certain way. When you hit puberty, you pretty much realise (wrongly) that 'If I'm not sexy, I'm nothing'. That pretty much summed up these last few years of high school for me. Gradually everyone finds their path and their way.

One thing I despise is people comparing Miley to Vanessa Hudgens or Britney Spears. For one thing: What the hell is wrong with Vanessa Hudgens? What's so bad about being Britney Spears? They're both rich, successful women and the only downside is that the media exposes their most intimate moments; which is exactly why Britney flipped and really gave them a reality show with shock moments every time she stepped out of the house and it had disastrous consequences for her life and health. Also, the situation with Vanessa Hudgens only made her stronger. I don't think Vanessa should have even had to apologise and I hope Miley doesn't even dignify these photos with a response because it's not needed.


When people spend this much time hating celebrities and talking shit about them and exposing their flaws... you KNOW they have nothing going on in their lives to keep them entertained. But guess what? The personal lives of celebrities aren't here for your entertainment.

Miley didn't send these pictures to you: they were leaked. Vanessa didn't send these pictures to you: a ghost from her past caught up with her when she was famous and most vulnerable.


I don't care and neither should anyone else. When I flip on the news, I expect to hear about murderers being sent down for their heinous crimes and when the hell our troops are going to stop torturing themselves and the poor Iraqis and come home. I don't expect to see live 24-hour-around-the-clock surveillance of Britney Spear's house, thanks! Assholes.


EDIT: I was extremely angry writing this blog! I just read it over and realised I was really flipping out. Sorry for the excessive swearing, guys. Sometimes we all have a frustrating day - I'm no exception. MILEY FTW!

''Giving You Everything We Have''

You know, celebrities are strange people. Wait, wait, wait. Oh God, this is embarassing. I just called them people. What a slip-up! Durr! Silly billy blogger me! Celebrities aren’t people. They’re celebrities. But we love them, right? They’re absolutely fascinating!

I mean, today, I watched a video of Britney Spears exiting a car with a man she’s now dating – Adnan G. He was one of her paparazzi entourage. A month ago, he was sliding across the pavements of California trying to get an upskirt shot of Brit’s cooch as she dashed out of a petrol station and into her car. And now? He’s riding up front with her and waving at all the other sucker photogs ogling her! This man has hit the jackpot. Ahh, it makes a young teenager like me sigh with happiness. Maybe my dreams of bagging my celeb crush will come true? Ah, Adnan, you’re a freaking inspiration, baby! An inspiration to all smelly, overweight celeb-obsessed bloggers like me! I LOVE YOU ADNAN. You have a groupie.

Yes, like I said, celebrities are fascinating creatures. Gosh, you know, it’s like when I went to the zoo as a child and I stood outside the cages of these monkeys and just giggled at their antics. We have a zoo full of celebrities, you know. It’s called Madame Tussauds and it contains a waxwork model of all your personal favourites and you can go snap cute pictures with them and put them up on your MySpace. Oh, it’s awesome. But man, the premieres are what really rock. It’s where they let them out of their cages and the crowds go wild as they flaunt it on the red carpet. We do love those premieres, don’t we? It’s really a warm-feeling moment, however, when celebrities are snapped in their natural habitats- Now those pictures are a real find! I saw pictures of High School Musical hottie Zac Efron in a big raincoat on the set of his new movie Seventeen. It was an amazing moment for me. I finally discovered what he looks like when he’s walking from his trailer in the rain to some other place. Yeah, those pictures were a real treat.

Yes. Celebrities are here for our entertainment and amusement. It’s so cool. I love them. They’re adorably cute but God, they do make some of the most impressive fuck-ups but gosh, you know what, I love them anyway! Yep, that’s how amazing of a fan I am, I love them regardless. Vanessa Hudgens, babe, I love you and your bush! Milo Ventimiglia, I love you on Heroes and I don’t care that you’re dating Hayden P. Even though she’s eighteen and you’re thirty. That’s how forgiving I am. That’s how loyal I am.

NO.

Wait.

Stop.

I just had a burst of... sanity. It made me realise in that split-second moment that I’m talking a load of shit; that I’m an ignorant bitch with her head so far up Hollywood’s ass that it’d make Dita Von Teese blush. If anyone reading this has ever talked like any of the following above... I really think you need to re-evaluate your life.

First of all; celebrities should be round up and put on death row.

OK.... Maybe that’s a little too harsh? OK. OK. Just make it Perez then.
Let’s make this clear. Celebrities are pathetic individuals who use the media to feel good about themselves. They are talent-less, they have poor self-esteem and it is more then likely that they have a sex-tape lurking around somewhere in their murky past.

Now, I bet everyone has just gone –GASP!—

You’re probably thinking ‘Oh, God. She did NOT just... she did NOT... She didn’t insult [insert favourite star’s name here]’

You’re getting offended too easily. Celebrities aren’t the people in movies, they aren’t the ones hosting good talk shows, they’re not the ones on TV soap operas, they’re not the catwalk models flaunting it and they’ve never done a guest appearance on Hannah Montana (I know teeny boppers read this blog. I just want to say, Miley Cyrus equals AMAZING. I am not trying to make you like me and keep returning to my blog. I swear. I really love her. She’s real. So.... uh, is this working? You guys like me now, right? AWESOME!)

No. Celebrities are people who have no talent but often, they have lots of money (OMFG PARIS HILTON!) Then again, I like Paris now. She hasn’t done anything stupid after she came out of prison, she seems to have taken it as a learning curve and grown out of her party days.

Unfortunately, sometimes, amazingly beautiful and amazingly wonderful people get mistaken as ‘celebrities’. Ugh, here’s a quick list of a few people who are deemed celebrities: Britney Spears, Halle Berry, Lindsay Lohan, Lauren Conrad (it was touch and go there for LC but she scraped it onto the list but ONLY because she has talent in the fashion industry... ONLY because of that), Zac Efron, Hayden P (Love this chick to death but lord, her last name is SO hard to spell. Damn you Mr and Mrs. P!) and Carrie Underwood.

There are many, many more people who stupid bloggers have dumped into their Celebrity Pile which lurks behind their ‘Porn’ Pile. What these people actually are are hardworking and damn determined. They are talented artists and actors who are fuelled with ambition. Their on-screen work is a credit to them and they should be given ‘God-like’ status over everyone.... OK, maybe not the last part. But these people are amazing. Ask your mom or dad how they got their dream job; they’ll tell you it was blood, sweat and tears all the way but God, the feeling of accomplishment was better then a two-hour orgasm (at this point you’re probably reaching over for a bucket to vomit it. Heehee, your poor little innocent minds!)

Ask a sixteen year old Britney Spears what her lifelong dream is and she’ll probably tell you that she’s been performing her whole life, it makes her incredibly happy and that’s what she wants to do forever and ever. She would identify herself as a singer. Not a fucking celebrity. A SINGER.

Same with anyone else in the last year who’s been hounded by photogs and had their business splashed across their blogs (I kinda contribute to that... heh... Well, I’m going to burn in hell for it, so come on, quit torturing me. The devil’ll do that for you!) A great example is Vanessa Hudgens. No one really knew her even though she had a significant role in Thunderbirds a few years ago until High School Musical gave her the limelight. Can you imagine what her first red carpet event must have been like where the photogs actually knew her name? It must have made her giddy with excitement. It must have been something she laughed about with her girlfriends as being a pretty cool first experience. Something her little kid sister Stella Hudgens must have admired her big sister for.

“Man. Fame is exciting! I’m wearing a fun dress, I’m being adored by millions and oh wow, I’m winning Emmy’s for doing what I love. This is UNREAL! But.... No...No FREAKING way, are you actually telling me I get to travel around the world promoting this thing just for doing something I’m crazy about? Oh FUCK YEAH. I’m in, bitches.”

Next thing 19 year old Hudgens knew was that a series of extremely raunchy images of her hit the net. Fame wasn’t only waiting for her on the red carpet anymore, it was outside setting up camp on her lawn. Nude pictures are disgusting in any context. No offense, but personally, I think it’s better to have the real thing then to jack off to... that stuff. But whatever. She did the doo. She paid for it.

Wait a fucking minute... why did she pay for it? Why did Vanessa have to hide under a cap with an upside down smile on her face every time she left her house? Why did Britney shaving her hair suddenly become ‘OMG! She’s lost her hair... and mind!?’ Why did Rihanna’s ‘Umbrella’ kick ass on the Billboards, ugh, I hate that song! Why does life suck? Why is the sky blue? Why is Perez really a fat woman with a stick-on penis?

SO many questions.

One thing I can answer is that the media is to blame. Not about Perez being the shit he is, but about the stuff before that.

When I first found out Britney shaved her head, you know what my reaction was? Something a little like this: “Uh, OK. FoxNews just stopped reporting news on the Iraq war to tell me this shit?” Looks like FoxNews have their priorities in order! What did I do when I heard about Disney nude pictures? I laughed at the oxymoron. Everyone knows Disney Channel stars don’t have genitals! Duh! They’re specially bred in laboratories and when they hatch, their whizzed off to Disney studios where they are then stored in a big freezer until the old Disney stars become, well, just that: old, and they need replacements.

I strongly believe that everyone who is successful in Hollywood (or Hollyhood as all my bruthas out there like ta call it, mon! Big up Snoop Dogg!) did not want to be ‘famous’.

They grew up with a passion for something just like everyone else in the world. They thought ‘Oh shit, this business is hard, I’ll never make it but you know what? The tiniest bits of work I get are good enough for me.” And then those humble bastards hit the jackpot and suddenly their not just little Johnny T. From back home, they’re THE John Travolta!

It has its ups. But more then anything, it has its down. Say goodbye to privacy. Oh and kiss goodbye to happiness in a relationship – that ain’t happening, how you gonna meet a boy if you got 50 photogs on your ass every time you walk out your driveway? Definitely wave away your inhibitions because the minute you have a song that’s number one or the minute your movie’s a hit; you got reporters researching your background to find any dirt they can. You got all these weird kids from high school coming out with stories about you being a wild, spoilt brat in school. Basically, you have a paradox of emotions.

On the one hand, it’s all ‘Wow. People like this. I’m getting my message out there!’ On the other hand it’s ‘Oh fuck, I forgot to wear panties and the wind just blew up my mini-skirt in front of a bunch of paps!” (Uh, by the way, who forgets to wear panties? Seriously... that’s just dirty. I thought Dirty Alice from school was dirty cos she’ll suck your cock for fifty pence but man, that’s REALLY nasty!)
No, fame comes with the good and the bad. Actors are actors. Artists are artists. Celebrities are idiots. Ask your daddy what a ‘scrounger’ is. He’ll tell you it’s a lazy fat bastard who doesn’t want to do a hard work’s day in their life and so they look for the easy way out. ‘Easy way out can’ mean so many things and all of them include selling your soul and waving goodbye to your morals.

The true talents in Hollywood have given us everything they have. They put their skills in front of our faces for the entire world to see. They’re giving you everything that have or have ever had. Have you ever stood up and performed at a school show? Well, multiply that audience by millions and you’ll see the pressure that performers have. They’re out there; acting, singing, directing, writing, modelling... everything. They’re already exposing themselves to us.

But that’s not enough. No. We have wonderful TV Shows like ET and paparazzi websites that give us 24 hour coverage of our favourite stars! YES. 24 HOURS! You can just imagine the heart attack someone like Tom Cruise would have had when they found out about those websites! They would never be safe again.

If you want to grow up and perform, children, then be aware. Giving us everything you have on-stage isn’t enough. We want to see you all the time, we want to see your weaknesses, we want to expose your faults, we want to see you crash and burn and we wanna see it all on X17Online or Splash News!

Our favourite stars probably do like the attention. Who WOULDN’T? But I think they would all agree that they only like that attention in controlled surroundings like premieres or events. Not at 3AM on New Years Day where they’re piss drunk and staggering to their front door only to discover a guy in their bushes with a camera. Not when their rushing to their mother’s funeral. THAT last one is definitely not cool and it happened to the blue-eyed Welsh hottie actor Jonathon Rhys-Meyers.


Finally, I just want to say I love Britney. For all you ‘BURN BRITNEY’ freaks, let me tell you a little something. Britney isn’t damaged because she’s a bad person. She’s damaged because of the media. She spent her teen years in the spotlight; everything about her was criticised, everyone had high expectations of her, her mother was a control-freak and then when she became pregnant... EVERY stage of her pregnancy was analysed, every little detail was pointed out. I don’t know about you guys but I feel faint when I’m up on stage performing in front of an audience as little as fifty. Britney was and is being watched by the world. She’s tried to bend to everyone’s expectations and make everyone happy. She’s giving everyone everything she’s ever had and then one day, she cracked and thought ‘Fuck you ungrateful shits.’ And now she’s living life with ‘another day, another drama’. She’s playing games with the paparazzi and giving them a real good show because hell, if they’re watching her, why not make it worth their while? Right? The problem is these ‘mind games’ are screwing up her life, her health and her sanity.

That’s not me having a Chris Crocker moment, that’s me using an example of a wonderfully talented star who’s been ruined by fame.

Let’s face it. We like the gossip. We get off on it. Me writing this won’t change your habits but maybe it will make you criticise blogs that make spectacles of stars out there who really don’t deserve it. In the words of Miley Cyrus ‘Nobody’s perfect, we all gotta work it...’ (SEE. I told you I loved her cute little ass!!!)